JOIN THE FIZZY FAMILY!! i make videos in hopes of making people happy:

Anonymous asked:
Stop being so negative, you started off saying you don't want to spread negativity yet that is exactly what you did.

I said I didn’t want to which is why I’ve been to myself about my thoughts but like I said in the post, I’m not going to fake happiness anymore to please others. I’m not perfect, I’m not someone to look up to, I’m not always happy. I’m not going to fake it so I can make others happy when in reality I’m destroying myself inside

don’t read this.

for awhile i used to just talk about my thoughts online as a way of expression and they were often really negative, mostly towards myself. i realized that me being so sad/negative didn’t give a positive influence on my followers and just made them feel negatively so i decided to not really be open about my feelings anymore and only try to spread the happy moments of my life because my reasoning for starting youtube in the first place was to make others happy and distract you/myself from the craziness in life. i just want others to be happy and i’d hate to think i was doing the complete opposite to some. i think it’s been going well until tonight i realized a lot… i am not a hero / inspiration. i’m not a perfect person. i am not someone you should be looking up to or trying to get advice from…i barely have control of my own mind/life. i am nowhere in life where i want to be. i feel throughout the last few years i’ve just gotten uglier and unhealthier looking and because of that i’ve just become scared of making videos / showing how i actually look and have just became even more insecure with myself. i don’t live how i would actually want to because i let the negative thoughts in my mind hold me back. i realized tonight that i’ll probably be alone forever because in order to accept love from someone else you need to love yourself and i completely lack that, no matter how hard i try to change that. i live in fear. i always panic and think i’m unhealthy / dying so i always want to go to the doctors and get everything checked. i constantly do these healthy diets thinking it’ll make me look and feel better. nothing ever works. i eat irregularly and know i’m no where near healthy. i know being vegetarian is just making me stay unhealthy and miss out on nutrients i need but i’m brainwashed and feel i can’t do anything about it. i feel i’ll just look and feel terrible forever and it scares me…it scares me that i’m going to waste my entire life away because of the hatred i have for myself.

Anonymous asked:
your girlfriend makes me want to shoot myself in the face she's so perfect

i have a girlfriend? SICKKKKK.
yeah taylor swift is perfect. thank you!!!

Anonymous asked:
I've been following you long enough to know a lot about you and I think you are a great person, but there are a few things about you that bother me. Not because I think you are a bad person but because I think someone you know is turning you into a bad person. I know you say your straight, if you are or not that doesn't bother me, what bothers me is your friend Matthew Lush I know he has cheated on Nick with several different men and now it seems like hes cheating on Nick with you too

You’re completely over analyzing everything. You ‘know’ he has cheated? You probably haven’t even met him nor know anything about him. It always blows my mind how I see people accuse the people they follow on the internet of all these things and what’s worrying is that they’re always so certain about it. “She DID this. He DID that” When in reality, the person knows absolutely nothing and is just making accusations based off the little of person they see online. ‘Now it seems like hes cheating on Nick with you too’ We’re back to accusations, huh? That’s where this all starts. You ‘think’ something and eventually you convince yourself that it’s real and go around telling people ‘I KNOW HE DID THIS’ I am not even going to defend myself here because it’s very obvious your accusation is no where near the truth, haha. The message i hope to get across by this response is to get to know people before forming such a strong opinion to the point where you’re spreading rumors. Also a reminder is the people you see online, you’re only seeing a portion of their life. You do not know every single thing about them and I really hope you’ll learn to not act like you do.

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